R.I.P. Angie Zapata — Ignorance about the Transgendered

Rest in Peace, Angie Zapata

Ignorance breeds fear. Fear breeds hate. Hate breeds violence.

I’ve been following a pretty sad story these last few days. You can read about it from the Associated Press, ABC News, the New York Times, the Greeley Tribune, and plenty of other websites.

Angie Zapata, an 18 year old transsexual girl, was found beaten to death in her apartment July 17, 2008. Her sister was the one who discovered the body. Angie’s car was also stolen. It turns out that a man by the name of Allen Ray Andrade was the one who killed and robbed her. This guy had met her online, through a social networking website, and they decided to meet in real life.

You can read the details of the murder and their meeting in the various news articles and blog posts about it, listed as links throughout this entry. What I can’t believe is that not only did he kill her just because of how she was born, but that he also refused to give her any kind of dignity. He would refer to her as an “it,” like she was some kind of object. It appears that to him, when he thought she was a ciswoman she was fine and worthy of respect, but when he found out she was a transwoman, she was suddenly dropped in status to that of an object, to get rid of when you are done with it, just throw it away.

Some people are worried they might try and go with a “trans-panic” defense, which tries and puts the blame on the victim instead of the criminal. Like it is the victim’s fault that the criminal killed them, just because of how they were born. Sadly, there are people who would support such a claim. Would you support this claim? If so, how about a “race-panic” defense? A “religion-panic” defense? A “gender-panic” defense? Would you support those as well? In the past, you might have actually said yes, but the average person nowadays would just look at you in shock, wondering how you could possibly even think something like that. You mention “trans-panic” or “gay-panic” though, and suddenly you will have a lot of people start thinking about it, like it could be a valid reason to commit a crime.

This is a pretty sad story, more so because it was obviously brought about by fear, ignorance, and hate. I bring this story up, because it illustrates quite clearly one of the fears that transgendered, and especially transsexual, people have to deal with. Any person, no matter how nice looking or seeming, could be a threat if they knew that you were transsexual. You can’t live your life in fear, of course, but you have to be more cautious than the average person does.

Most of the people replying to the news articles out there are sympathetic, and that is wonderful. But there is the occasional person who shows no sympathy. It is just like the ignorant hatred of the past, be it about race, gender, sexual orientation, or any other difference someone could come up with. I’ll quote the person for you, to give a good picture as to why we fear people knowing that we are transgendered.

Ugggh! The freak of nature deserved it. Letting on that “she” was “all woman”. Makes your stomach turn and your skin crawl to know that these things are out and about. Yes, they are “things”. Love the way these crybabies try to make this special by calling it a hate crime. Its a crime, period. Most crimes of violence are the result of hate, einsteins. And all you quasi-intellectuals: Stop the preaching and presuming to instruct everyone on the whys and wherefores on subjects like this. We’re not impressed and we don’t care.

These are the type of people we fear, the type of reactions we worry about most. These are the type of people we would expect to kill us, just because of how we were born. It it still a very dangerous world to be transsexual, or even just gender variant. Men seem to be the biggest threat in general, but women have done things just as bad before… it just doesn’t seem to occur as often.

I can give some good examples from experience, although I am also a little more paranoid than I probably need to be. Of course, it is better paranoid than dead. For instance, I walk regularly at this one park, looping it for exercise, usually making one or two miles before I quit. The first few times after I found a nice feminine hairstyle, especially the first time, I was sort of nervous going there. I was afraid that I still looked enough like a guy, that someone might harass me or worse because of my hair. Same thing with wearing a bra, I was worried some people might notice it and do something to me.

When I went to my therapist last time, I went in my skirt, and there were four guys standing around the entrance to the building. Luckily my grandpa was there, which made me feel more secure, but I was still nervous of them, because I can generally only pass at a distance or glance.

And this is the problem. Right now, most of society is even ignorant of our existence. The people who are aware of us, usually misunderstand us. There are few people out there who actually not only understand, but can sympathize as well. And until more people truly understand our unique situation, there will still be fear for us. Right now, in a lot of areas, it would be literal suicide to announce that you are transgendered. In the future that may change, which would be wonderful, but until then we have to be very careful out there.

Angie Zapata, 18 year old girl, murdered

I’d like to ask you to keep this entry in mind, keep Angie’s murder in mind, the next time you encounter someone who is different from you. It doesn’t matter how they are different, just that if you would treat them differently because of that, then remember this entry. Try and treat them like you would anyone else, because not only are they a normal human being like you, but you or a family member may one day be like them, or know someone who is like them, and that person might get hurt. Make sure you aren’t one of those people that will cause the hurt.

Rest in Peace Angie Zapata, and may your family find peace as well.